E-natomy of a Relationship

From: vivp@pizazz.com
Date: Saturday, March 5, 2005
To: tony512@bst.co.uk
Subject: Hi

Hi there,
My name’s Viv, if you hadn’t already guessed by my e-mail address. I’m really glad you liked my profile on Soulmates.com and got in touch. I had a look at your details and you seemed like such a nice guy I couldn’t resist replying.

A bit about me, but not too much as I wouldn’t like to give too much of the game away at this stage. I have been on my own now for about a year - as for the ex - don’t even ask! I like walks in the rain, drying off by an open fire, someone who makes me cups of tea and can understand my obsession with Star Trek. Don’t worry, I don’t dress up as a Klingon - I prefer Vulcans anyway. And I am intelligent - or at least I like to think so: I read the Times, so at least I’m not one of the tabloid crowd. Not that there’s anything wrong with them you understand - some of my best mates read The Sun.

OK, made enough of an idiot of myself for one e-mail. Over to you, if you haven’t run for the hills by now.

Best wishes, Viv


From: vivp@pizazz.com
Date: Monday, March 7, 2005
To: tony512@bst.co.uk
Subject: Hi again

Glad you didn’t think I was too weird. It makes a change. Yes, I would like to meet with you. How about Wednesday evening at the Horses’s Head in town. About 8pm. Let me know if this isn’t OK, otherwise I’ll see you then. I’ll be the one dressed in black.

Viv x


From: vivp@pizazz.com
Date: Thursday, March 10, 2005
To: tony512@bst.co.uk
Subject: Last night

Wow, really enjoyed last night. Meeting you has changed my life - no, I really mean it! I really feel there is something special between us. Do you feel it too? We have so much in common - perhaps we shared a past life together. And I just wanted to let you know that I don’t usually sleep with someone on the first date - it was just that, well, I sort of got carried away with the magic of it all. Sorry, now I’m ranting - I do that when I’m excited. I can’t wait to see you again tomorrow.

Kisses, Viv


From: vivp@pizazz.com
Date: Thursday, April 5, 2005
To: tony512@bst.co.uk
Subject: Where are you?

Is everything OK babe? Just that you haven’t rung me for three days. I think I know why you’re cross but I wasn’t really following you in town the other day - it was just a coincidence I was going that way too. And of course I trust you. And of course you’re allowed to have women as friends. It’s just that, well, there are rather a lot of them.

I understand if you don’t want to come to the Alien Worlds Convention next Saturday - I know it’s not your sort of thing. But I was hoping you’d want to spend some more time with me away from your mates. Perhaps I’ll cancel my ticket and we could do something else instead. You know how much I love you and would do anything for you, don’t you? Now please ring, and let’s sort this whole thing out.

Lots of love, your babes, Viv xxxxx

PS. Have you given any more thought to my offer of moving in together?


From: vivp@pizazz.com
Date: Sunday, April 10, 2005
To: tony512@bst.co.uk
Subject: Friday Night

So, where were you last night? I called your place ten times between 8 and 2 in the morning and you weren’t there. So where were you? And don’t say out with your mates, because Donna saw them in Sparks and you weren’t there. You’ve met someone else haven’t you? How could you do this to me? Just get rid of her (before I do) and we’ll start again. You know I would forgive you anything.

At least tell me what I’ve done wrong.

Viv


From: vivp@milesaway.co.uk
Date: Tuesday, April 12, 2005
To: tony512@bst.co.uk
Subject: no subject

For some reason your e-mail kept rejecting my mails so I changed my ISP and it all seems to be alright again now. Your phone number seems to be unavailable too. Have you had it changed and forgotten to tell me? Look, I’m really sorry if I freaked you out by sitting in my car outside your flat all night. I know you said you wnted to cool it, but I needed to be close to you. Anyway, I don’t think you really know what you want at the moment. You’ll soon miss me!

By the way, I’ve cleared some room in my wardrobe for you. I know you haven’t agreed to moving in yet, but I’m sure you will. You know we’re meant to be together forever. I won’t let anyone or anything (even you!) come between us.

Your always loving Viv xxxx


From: vivp@ milesaway.co.uk
Date: Tuesday, April 26, 2005
To: tony512@bst.co.uk
Subject: Desperate

You haven’t contacted me for two weeks now and I’m worried that something has happened to you. I called round the other day but there was no answer. And today I have the flu I can’t get out, so I’m desperate to know what’s going on.

If you wanted out, you should have said. I could have taken it, you know. I’m not one of those mad stalker women who’ll throw acid over your car and slash your tyres. Alright, I know I ran over your cat yesterday morning, but that was an honest accident - something flew into my eye and made me swerve onto the pavement. I’m sure it never knew anything about it.

When I’m better, I’ll come and find you and we’ll sort this out once and for all. And then you’ll see this was all a mistake and that you really, truly love me. Perhaps we should think of moving away, maybe getting married. Then things will be alright.

Yours, hopefully,
Viv


From: vivp@ milesaway.co.uk
Date: Wednesday, April 27, 2005
To: tony512@bst.co.uk
Subject: No Subject

Bastard!
There was no need for a restraining order!

Jan 2006